Lesson 25 - The Sacrament of Marriage

(Lesson 25)

The Sacrament of Marriage

“What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder" Mark 10:9

Discussion Guide:

Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman. It is a vocation, a calling from God that is similar to the priestly or religious life. Married people are called to faithfully fulfill their obligations to each other and to God. The couple themselves are the actual ministers of the sacrament because their “I do” makes them husband and wife. The priest or deacon is an official witness for the Church. They must be faithful to each other through good times and bad, in sickness and in health. They must not withhold their fertility from each other and they must make a solemn commitment to raise their children in the practice of the Catholic faith. Unless one spouse dies, a validly contracted marriage can not be broken. For this reason, Catholics can only marry someone who has never been married before or who is widowed. Annulments can only be granted when the competent authorities of the Church can determine that a valid marriage was never contracted in the first place.

Marriage proceeds from the will of God. Man did not invent it! We know that God is infinitely wise and infinitely good. He knows what is best for us because he loves us. In recent times, marriage has been looked upon by many in society as “just a piece of paper”. Divorce rates are at record highs and living together without being married has become socially acceptable. It is common for men to abandon their out of wedlock children and shirk their responsibilities as fathers. Many women have been deceived into believing that marriage is a meaningless old-fashioned ritual. Homosexuals and their advocates are currently claiming a “right” to be married to each other in direct contradiction to the laws of nature and the laws of God. Meanwhile, the television talk shows are successfully convincing society that all this is normal and acceptable. Many Catholics have been deceived by these lies. They corrupt the hearts and minds of God’s people and lead many into mortal sin. As Catholics, we must follow the commandments of Jesus Christ rather than the trends of a debased and decadent society.

Discussion Points:

· Marriage is a covenant for life between a man and a woman

· The sacrament of marriage was instituted by Jesus Christ

· The bride and the groom are the actual ministers of the sacrament

· Free consent is necessary for a valid marriage

· A valid marriage can never be dissolved

· If the Church grants an annulment, it means a valid marriage never existed

· A married couple must be open to fertility

· There is no such thing as “same-sex” marriage

The Wedding at Cana

John 2:1-11

On the third day there was a marriage at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; Jesus also was invited to the marriage, with his disciples. When the wine failed, the mother of Jesus said to him, "They have no wine. And Jesus said to her, "O woman, what have you to do with me? My hour has not yet come. His mother said to the servants, Do whatever he tells you. Now six stone jars were standing there, for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons. Jesus said to them, "Fill the jars with water. And they filled them up to the brim. He said to them, Now draw some out, and take it to the steward of the feast." So they took it. When the steward of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward of the feast called the bridegroom and said to him, Every man serves the good wine first; and when men have drunk freely, then the poor wine; but you have kept the good wine until now. This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory; and his disciples believed in him.

The Sacrament of Marriage

“What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder" Mark 10:9

Opening Prayer:

Heavenly Father, help us to love one another as You have loved us. Give us the grace to faithfully live out the vocation that You have chosen for us. Let us always be good witnesses to our commitment to your Son Jesus Christ. Amen

Theme:

Marriage is a life long commitment between a man and a woman. The commandments of the Church concerning marriage must be adhered to. An annulment can only be granted if the Church determines that there was never a valid marriage to begin with.

Bible Readings:

Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Mark 10:2-9 And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" He answered them, "What did Moses command you?" They said, "Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to put her away." But Jesus said to them, "For your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one.' So they are no longer two but one. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder."

1 Corinthians 7:10 To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband)--and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

1 Corinthians 7:39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If the husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

Explanation of the Bible readings: The reading from Genesis tells us that God instituted marriage at the beginning of time. It was to be exclusively between one man and one woman. Although numerous Old Testament figures had many wives, this passage illustrates that marriage was always meant to be monogamous. “The two become one flesh” is a clear indication that a man is to only have one wife. Jesus quotes this passage to demonstrate that marriage is also a permanent commitment. He teaches us that the permission to divorce was a concession that Moses permitted because of the “hardness of heart” of the Israelite people. St. Paul confirms the Catholic teaching that a valid marriage can never be dissolved. If separation becomes necessary for some grave reason, the parties involved must not remarry.

Catechism of the Catholic Church:

The Sacrament of Matrimony

1601 "The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament."

1614 In his preaching Jesus unequivocally taught the original meaning of the union of man and woman as the Creator willed it from the beginning permission given by Moses to divorce one's wife was a concession to the hardness of hearts. The matrimonial union of man and woman is indissoluble: God himself has determined it "what therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder."

1621 In the Latin Rite the celebration of marriage between two Catholic faithful normally takes place during Holy Mass, because of the connection of all the sacraments with the Paschal mystery of Christ….

1623 According to Latin tradition, the spouses as ministers of Christ's grace mutually confer upon each other the sacrament of Matrimony by expressing their consent before the Church. In the tradition of the Eastern Churches, the priests (bishops or presbyters) are witnesses to the mutual consent given by the spouses, but for the validity of the sacrament their blessing is also necessary.

Matrimonial Consent

1625 The parties to a marriage covenant are a baptized man and woman, free to contract marriage, who freely express their consent; "to be free" means:
- not being under constraint;
- not impeded by any natural or ecclesiastical law.

1626 The Church holds the exchange of consent between the spouses to be the indispensable element that "makes the marriage." If consent is lacking there is no marriage.

1628 The consent must be an act of the will of each of the contracting parties, free of coercion or grave external fear. No human power can substitute for this consent. If this freedom is lacking the marriage is invalid.

1629 For this reason (or for other reasons that render the marriage null and void) the Church, after an examination of the situation by the competent ecclesiastical tribunal, can declare the nullity of a marriage, i.e., that the marriage never existed. In this case the contracting parties are free to marry, provided the natural obligations of a previous union are discharged.

The Marriage Bond

1640 Thus the marriage bond has been established by God himself in such a way that a marriage concluded and consummated between baptized persons can never be dissolved. This bond, which results from the free human act of the spouses and their consummation of the marriage, is a reality, henceforth irrevocable, and gives rise to a covenant guaranteed by God's fidelity. The Church does not have the power to contravene this disposition of divine wisdom.

1665 The remarriage of persons divorced from a living, lawful spouse contravenes the plan and law of God as taught by Christ. They are not separated from the Church, but they cannot receive Eucharistic communion. They will lead Christian lives especially by educating their children in the faith.

1643 "Conjugal love involves a totality, in which all the elements of the person enter - appeal of the body and instinct, power of feeling and affectivity, aspiration of the spirit and of will. It aims at a deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul; it demands indissolubility and faithfulness in definitive mutual giving; and it is open to fertility….

1645 "The unity of marriage, distinctly recognized by our Lord, is made clear in the equal personal dignity which must be accorded to man and wife in mutual and unreserved affection." Polygamy is contrary to conjugal love which is undivided and exclusive.

1648 It can seem difficult, even impossible, to bind oneself for life to another human being. This makes it all the more important to proclaim the Good News that God loves us with a definitive and irrevocable love, that married couples share in this love, that it supports and sustains them, and that by their own faithfulness they can be witnesses to God's faithful love. Spouses who with God's grace give this witness, often in very difficult conditions, deserve the gratitude and support of the ecclesial community.

1649 Yet there are some situations in which living together becomes practically impossible for a variety of reasons. In such cases the Church permits the physical separation of the couple and their living apart. The spouses do not cease to be husband and wife before God and so are not free to contract a new union. In this difficult situation, the best solution would be, if possible, reconciliation. The Christian community is called to help these persons live out their situation in a Christian manner and in fidelity to their marriage bond which remains indissoluble.

1650 Today there are numerous Catholics in many countries who have recourse to civil divorce and contract new civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ - "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery" the Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God's law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists. For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities. Reconciliation through the sacrament of Penance can be granted only to those who have repented for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who are committed to living in complete continence.

1651 Toward Christians who live in this situation, and who often keep the faith and desire to bring up their children in a Christian manner, priests and the whole community must manifest an attentive solicitude, so that they do not consider themselves separated from the Church, in whose life they can and must participate as baptized persons:

They should be encouraged to listen to the Word of God, to attend the Sacrifice of the Mass, to persevere in prayer, to contribute to works of charity and to community efforts for justice, to bring up their children in the Christian faith, to cultivate the spirit and practice of penance and thus implore, day by day, God's grace.
Mixed marriages and disparity of cult

1633 In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection.

1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority. In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.138 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.

1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband." It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith. Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.

Faith words:

Annulment: A declaration that a valid marriage never existed

Fidelity: loyalty and attentiveness to one's duty

Polygamy: The practice of Marriage to more than one person

Reflection Questions:

What are some of the most common reasons that people get divorced?





In what ways are the sacraments of Marriage and Holy Orders similar?





Why is it important for couples to have Catholic counseling before marriage?


1 Corinthians

Chapter 13

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude.
Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect; but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood.
So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.